Archive for Jenna

Dressing slutty, a recording

I received a compliment from a new reader this week, and this is my thank-you gift to him. Thanks, sexy stranger, for the inspiration.

This is just as you wrote it, Americanized and with a few edits. Enjoy. 😉



The Bar

Yeah, so

You beat the crap out of a girl — like she asked, mind you — and don’t you know the next thing she’s gonna want is for you to hold her while she cries.

Go figure.

I like washi tape



I can think of lots of other interesting positions, but they all require another set of hands. Mark, if you like, you can find the tape in my night table drawer. 😉

Basement sex

Have I ever told you about the best sex I’ve ever had? I can’t recall.

It was in Mark’s parents’ basement, years ago. We were still in college, so I’m guessing we were twenty. We snuck downstairs after everyone else was asleep. He fucked me, missionary position, on an old mattress on the floor. I was literally screaming my head off it was so good. I have no idea why.

After a couple minutes of me screaming, Mark told me to be quiet. He didn’t want me to wake anyone up.

So I stopped screaming.


July Mark and I are taking a trip. As part of it, we’re seeing some old friends of ours. It happens that these particular old friends have been through roughly the same situation as Mark and I have struggled with this year. From what I gather, the girl is sexually open and the guy, less so.

Mark ran into the guy over the weekend and they had time to talk. Mark came home wanting to have “the difficult conversations,” whatever that means. As if we haven’t been having difficult conversations for the past 18 months now. He wanted to talk about our plans for July, which may or may not include going to a sex party.

First I refused. I told him that I don’t want to go to a sex party if all I can do is look but not touch and if I constantly have to defer to him about what I can do. It’s the truth. I can look but not touch from home.

Still, I’ve given it some thought. I’ve tried to turn the situation around for the better. So, I say, guys, you have two girls here who are saying they are willing to do pretty much anything. (At least I am. I hesitate to speak for my friend, so if you are her, please chime in yourself.)

This is an opportunity. I say, guys, make some plans. Don’t wait until July 1st, start now. You’re in charge. You make up the rules. Set the agenda. Forget everything you’ve ever learned about being good Jewish boys and let’s have some fun.

Love anytime

“With her Florentino Ariza learned what he had already experienced many times without realizing it: that one can be in love with several people at the same time, feel the same sorrow with each, and not betray any of them. Alone in the midst of the crowd on the pier, he said to himself in a flash of anger: ‘My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse.'”

― Gabriel Garcí­a MárquezLove in the Time of Cholera

Anybody wanna see my hoodie?


On ice

I passed a super hot mom in heels walking across the icy field to pick up her kindergartener.

I should have offered a hand and said, “Can I help you across?”

I could have said, “At least on the way back, you’ll have a kid to hold onto!”

I actually said nothing (but smiled).

I’m pretty sure she thought I was laughing at her.

Why is this so fucking hard?

Notes from last night

Truffle frites are better than sex.

People need to put down their fucking phones on their date nights.

Skinny jeans, boots, and a sheer sparkly top is appropriate dress for a so-called good girl at a strip club.

Strippers are hot.

Sex for sale is not exactly hot.

I love watching Mark get a lap dance.

I want to touch a girl.

I had a really good time last night.

What does a girl wear to a strip club?

I need to know by Saturday.

I’m counting on you.

And don’t forget, it’s winter here.