I had another nightmare this morning.
I dreamed that I visited Mark at work, alone. For some reason, we had a meeting with a coworker of his. In the dream she was not the real Jenna, but another woman, a gorgeous woman. She was way prettier than me.
In the dream, I turned my back for a moment, or stepped outside the office for some reason. I was only gone for a second. When I returned, he was kissing her. She smiled when he stopped. Then they saw me watching.
At this point, Mark disappeared from the dream. All of a sudden, I was alone with the beautiful woman. She apologized profusely. I could tell that she felt really bad.
I felt bad too. I couldn’t tell much about their relationship. Were they having an affair? She didn’t tell me. I think that I told her that she was beautiful. I asked her if I could kiss her too. She declined.
Seeing Mark kiss another woman, a woman more beautiful than me, filled me with jealousy. I woke up with the most profound feeling of sadness, so deep that it made the dream feel real. Again, I clung to Mark needing to be held. But I felt something else, too. It wasn’t just extreme jealousy, but also happiness. I have no idea why.