Why, why, why?

Why do I blog? Specifically, why do I feel the need for the secret sex blog? Well.

First of all, I want to write. I want to learn to create characters that are real. I think the best characters are those who have some inner conflict, some tension between their good side and their bad. So, to be a successful writer, I need to practice writing from my own bad side. Now, I kind of like my bad side. I’m intrigued by it, and it’s exciting. But I don’t feel the need to share that part of myself with everyone I know. It’s just not practical. So, I choose to write anonymously for now.

Don’t get me wrong. I do not live in fear of getting found out. I don’t do things that I could not forgive myself for, so fear of discovery is low on my list of concerns. But I do feel more free with my voice when I am in relative anonymity.

Second, I am exploring my sexuality for the first time in my life. I simply did not take the opportunity before I married Mark, and I suddenly want to, desperately. It’s not feasible within my marriage for me to be physical with other people. At least not right now. And I need an outlet. This blog offers that.

Third, I have an idea, a hypothesis. Sex can broaden your consciousness. Maybe that’s obvious to all of you with more experience than me. Maybe not. I’m not sure where I’m going with my hypothesis, or how I can set out to prove it in my current situation, but I definitely want to try.

Last, I should note that I want to be paid for my writing. Whether that comes as a book deal or some other creative writing job, I don’t care at this moment. But for me, that is a major motivation for blogging.

Any advice? I’d appreciate it.

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